What's the most klutzy thing you've ever done?
Submitted by Jecka.
Ha! Seriously, pick just 1??? Let's see, there was sliding down the stairs on the 1st day of junior high and having my shoe fly off and hit the Student Council President in the back of the head (which he still remembered when we had a chemistry class together 3 years later. That was also the incident that cracked my tailbone, which causes me more and more problems as I get older). There was the time a week before Christmas a few years ago when I was walking down the concrete stairs outside my apartment while carrying a cake and 2 pyrex containers of deviled eggs and as soon as I hit the 2nd step, my feet flew out from under me and I literally flipped head over heels all the way down the stairs. I bounced off the wall, passed out when I hit the ground (landing flat on my ass - didn't do so much to help my previously injured tailbone), and one of the pyrex containers hit me in the head. When I regained consciousness, half of the cake was sitting on the 2nd step from the bottom. I landed on the other half. Or was it in 4th grade when my sister and I were playing in the driveway and the whole inertia thing totally went over my head - along with the full bucket of water I was holding, taking me with it. I landed on my back and nearly broke my wrist, ankle, and shoulder (turned out I just couldn't move at all for a week, and then had braces for weeks after that). Or maybe when I stepped through the a/c duct in the ceiling of the store I was working in and almost kicked my manager in the head. Then had to get back down a ladder with a severely sprained wrist and ankle, and went to my high school graduation the next day in a sling. Then there was the time in 2nd grade that I was riding my bike in the dark and hit a tire and nearly cut my toe off. Oh, then last summer I dropped a 450 pound bearing - according to 2 different doctors, my right arm will never fully recover from all of the muscle, nerve, and tendon damage that caused, and the finger that broke when the bearing landed on it will permanently have a huge knot on it. I was just lucky it didn't crush the joint (which we thought it did - the ER doctor was dumbfounded when the x-rays showed it didn't) or land on my foot - it missed my foot by less than 3 inches. A month after I did that, I stepped backwards off of a loading dock at a branch nearly 2 hours from home in the middle of B.F.E. - and drove back. I only sprained my wrist, re-injured my tailbone (how is it not just completely crushed by now???), and severely scraped my shoulder, but I was unbelievably lucky - if I had fallen 6 inches to my right, I would have cracked my skull open on cinder blocks. At least it was only a 6 foot drop - just 1 foot further than I am tall.
Apparently, I'm not allowed to go skiing, rock climbing, riding on a 4 wheeler, or anything else that involves more activity than I normally do on a daily basis. Wade's convinced that my insurance is going to drop me one day for all of my accidents, and we can't afford my medical bills. Or someone's going to decide that I can't really be this clumsy and that he must be abusing me, and he's going to have to go to jail.
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